
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/610113.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Liam_Payne/Louis_Tomlinson
  Character:
      Liam_Payne, Louis_Tomlinson, Harry_Styles, Zayn_Malik, Niall_Horan
  Additional Tags:
      Genderswap, Sexswap, girlband
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-12-26 Words: 5202
****** 'cause in the evening, it's girls ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Sex+genderswap. In which One Direction are a girl band.
Notes
     Girls - all I really want is girls
     And in the morning it's girls
     Cause in the evening it's girls


Louis is a bed-climber. Everyone knows this, so Liam isn't the littlest bit
surprised when one night, Louis crawls into her bed in the middle of the night,
makes Liam jump at the cold feet that join her own, and pushes her icy, sniffly
nose into Liam's chest.

Liam's chest isn't very big, so a head-butt hurts. Louis' head, of course,
seems not to mind at all, which is typical. A quick glance at her watch tells
Liam that it's past 2am. They have a tight schedule tomorrow, so she doesn't
bitch. Much. She just says, "What are you doing?" in a tired voice, like she
does whenever Louis is being insufferable.

"Cuddling," Louis murmurs into her chest (which is starting to make Liam a
little uncomfortable, because the vibrations of Louis' speech make her nipples
harden and Louis is poking out her tongue, Liam's pretty sure. "Might have
heard of it. If you weren't such an uptight, heartless bitch."

Liam kicks her. "Why'd you come to my bed then?" And wonderful, she's awake
now. She'll be knackered in the morning. "Where you outside? Who were you -
were you sneaking around with Aiden again?"

"Just having a fag," Louis says, and then snickers, because hah: pun, and all,
because Aiden's gay and- right. Liam stops in mid-thought. "I'm going to kill
you in the morning," she then whispers, "as soon as I have enough strength to
put my hands around your neck and squeeze. Smoking, Louis? Your vocal cords -"

"Oh my God, shut up," Louis says, and kisses her.

They're five girls in a room, and Liam knows if Niall wakes up, or worse, Zayn,
they will never hear the end of this, but oh, Louis' mouth and her clever
tongue sneaking into Liam's mouth.

They've done this before, sometimes. In Liam's head, she calls it 'screwing
around' and lets it be, but her heart always protests and it's a complete mess,
which she knew would happen the moment she laid eyes on Louis. Liam knows
herself, thank you very much, and she knows she's smart and reasonable and all
those boring things - until a girl turns her head and then all reason flies out
the window and there's just this.

Louis knows how to play her, too, which is a pain. She knows how to press their
lips together to get little choked moans out of Liam, knows how to let her
fingertips wander over Liam's skin underneath her pyjama top, to her small
breasts, flicking her nails across her nipples until Liam's wriggling, needing
something, and more. Louis knows the perfect moment to slip her thigh between
Liam's legs and press down, rubbing up against Liam's panties.

Liam can feel herself grow wet at the pressure, moving her hips in the rhythm
Louis has set, and kisses back, pushing her tongue past Louis' lips
aggressively to control at least something about this.

"Fuck, you're so much hotter when you shut up," Louis hisses, and then slips
her hand down and over the material of Liam's panties before Liam can reply.
Liam arches her back and pants, wanting more of Louis' hands, her fingers. "To
think anyone'd call you the good girl when you're gagging for it like this."

Liam wants to glare, plans to do it just as soon as she can muster the will.
It's very hard when Louis lets her thumb slip by the outer seam of her panties,
pushing underneath just an inch to get at the wetness, but not nearly enough to
get Liam off.

"I really hate you," Liam tells her loudly, forgetting herself, and spreads her
legs to give Louis better access, get her fingers where they should be, which
is on her clit and maybe inside her so Louis can open her up and make her come
hard.

Louis grins, and kisses her again. She's warmed up by now, her mouth wet and
hot, and Liam focuses on the kiss because it's better than to focus on the
fingers slowly traveling over her panties, rubbing gently at her clit through
the cotton, which is an exercise in torture. It doesn't make Liam feel any less
turned on, but it's not enough when she knows there could be skin on skin and
Louis is still wearing those ridiculous boxer shorts in which she always goes
to sleep, which is not good when Liam is trying to get to as much Louis-skin as
possible.

She slides her hands up the t-shirt over the smoothness of Louis' back, pushing
the denim out of the way, breathing in through her nose when Louis' tongue
touches her own. She must have been lying because she doesn't taste of
cigarettes at all; maybe she was just keeping Aiden company while Aiden whined
about how hot Matt is, and how to make his move.

Liam opens her eyes when Louis pulls away and asks "What're you thinking
'bout?", touching their lips together, spit-slick and puffy.

Liam says, "Aiden," and then realizes how that will sound, shit, and for a
second, Louis looks like she's been slapped before Liam says, "No, I meant.
Matt. Wait. Oh God."

Louis seems to get it though, because her face softens and she rolls her eyes.
"I'm doing something wrong if you're thinking about their epic failitude of a
romance now."

Liam smiles, with teeth, which she never does because she knows it makes her
look like a deranged circus freak, and Louis' eyes crinkle at the corners. Then
Liam feels the little shifts of muscle as Louis flexes her back; her arm moves,
her hand stops the teasing, wandering up Liam's cotton panties and she manages
to shove them down with just that one hand, pressing her fingers in.

"Shit, you're wet," she breathes, making Liam flush bright red because that's
not fair, of course she's turned on. "Wanna eat you out so bad," Louis adds,
and oh. Liam's flush deepens, imagining Louis' tongue working where her fingers
are right now, pressure points and little slick twists. She nods quickly.
They've never actually done that before, only ever in her head, and she wants,
almost as if it would mean more than what they've been doing. It's stupid, but
there it is. Louis makes her stupid, a fucking moron, really, and she can never
say no.

"Tell me," Louis says, and kisses Liam's nose, her forehead, and then down the
side of her face until her tongue curls around Liam's ear, her breath warm, and
then cooling rapidly. "Tell me you want it."

Liam makes a sound and tries to squirm down further on Louis' fingers, which
are just skimming her now, not applying enough force when they should be
sliding in deeper. If at least Louis was pushing her thumb over Liam's clit so
Liam could come. Nothing so easy with Louis.

"Yes," Liam gasps, and reaches down to do it herself. "I want it. Please."

Louis snorts, utterly unladylike, and then sobers and slips her fingers in,
making Liam gasps from seeing stars. "Tell me what. Make it filthy. I know you
love being filthy. I've seen you say 'Fuck' to yourself when you think no one's
watching."

Liam keens and her hand grasps Louis', forcing her fingers deeper, heel of her
own hand pressing against her clit, making herself come. "Fuck," she moans,
proving Louis right (she hates it when that happens), and can feel herself
contracting around Louis' fingers, can feel how heavy Louis' breathing gets as
she watches Liam's face, feels Liam tighten around her fingers.

When she can think again, Liam notices that Louis is watching her face from an
inch away. Their noses are almost touching. It feels too close and intimate,
makes her feel awkward and ugly, especially when Louis catches her gaze and
holds it.

Liam shifts, pulls away from Louis' fingers and body, and tries to get some
space between them. Louis chooses that moment to whisper, "You're so fucking
beautiful."

Liam feels something inside her well up, almost like tears, except she's not
that big a cliché. So she pushes at Louis' shoulder and says, "Fuck you,"
instead.

Louis rolls her eyes. "What, it's true."

Except it's really not. Harry's beautiful. Zayn's beautiful. Liam looks nothing
like them. Her nose is too big. Her teeth are the strangest teeth on the
planet. The stylists from the show gave her a haircut that looks worse than the
mullet she had when she was eight. She's hopeless. She just likes girls, and
she is a girl, and Louis happens to enjoy vagina.

"Wow, I hate that look on your face," Louis points out. "I'm going to do
something to make it go away." And she doesn't give Liam the opportunity to
answer. She slithers down gracefully, traces Liam's body with her palms, her
chest, licking around her navel, dipping a thumb in. Liam watches her, half-
frozen in anticipation, and half-trembling with want.

Her legs are still spread, and it barely registers that Louis settles down
until she places her hands on the insides of Liam's thighs, stroking in gentle
circles, and Liam realizes she's just watching, staring at where Liam's soaked
and red and swollen from before, and something in her belly cramps so hard she
has to clench her hands in the sheets so she won't make too much noise.

Then Louis' fingers are on her again, feeling so good, sliding through her dark
curls, spreading her apart. When Louis ducks her head, Liam lets herself fall
back into her pillow, sucking in air, because oh god that's new. Louis' tongue
feels... different and presses exactly on her clit, and then it's Louis' lips
instead, kissing, sucking, tongue still working against her, feeling utterly
right.

Liam doesn't know what to do with her hands, so she keeps them buried in the
sheets. She loses the fight to keep her hips down; they rock up, against Louis'
mouth, and it would be funny, how that could have ended if Louis hadn't been
anticipating it, but she did, she does, and it just gets better when she
presses her tongue into Liam.

Liam has no idea how Louis is dealing with this, how she hasn't come a hundred
times from doing this. Liam imagines she will if she ever gets the opportunity,
because fuck - why haven't they been doing this forever? Why do people ever
stop fucking?

Louis isn't finished, fingers back on Liam right where her mouth is, fingertips
pressing against Liam's clit as her tongue slides into her, deeper. Liam can
feel herself tighten from inside, feels heat roll over her skin once more, a
warning how close she is. She cries out, "Louis, Louis -"

"Fucking hell, are you two fucking?"

Liam slams upwards, Louis' fingers push down so hard it hurts, and that sends
her over the edge, coming with a choked-down noise. Louis never stops working
her tongue, swallowing her down, feeling Liam tremble against her lips.

"Shit," Liam pants. Niall is staring at them, mouth open, cheeks bright red,
and Liam wants to die, and this is really all Louis' fault, who always makes
her so stupid, always makes her do the stupidest things like having sex in a
room with all of her bandmates right there, and she's frozen, and then of
course, Harry's propping herself up on her elbows, looking sleepy and rumpled
and asks, "Who's fucking?"

Thankfully, Louis has the sense to draw the sheets up and over them. Liam still
kicks her off the bed, though, and buries into the blanket, her back to
everyone. She closes her eyes and hears Louis say, in a voice that's tinged
with amusement, "Go back to sleep, you perverted freaks. You better not whack
off to this."

Because of course, it's all a big fucking joke to her.


- - - - -


Liam spends most of the next day sulking. They have choreography and vocal
coaching and in the evening they will be meeting with the stylists to try on
outfits for the next live show, so it's not an easy task. She keeps away as she
can, though, and doesn't look at Louis at all. Instead, she lurks with the
other girls, Cher, Aiden and Rebecca. She's grateful none of them ask why.

It's Zayn who finally corners her in the afternoon when Liam is hiding on the
bed with her sheets pulled over her head, watching YouTube videos and listening
to soppy songs. Chasing Cars never seemed so fitting.

"Liam," she sighs. "Take that sheet off."

Liam doesn't care what Zayn says, so she stays were she is and buries her face
in her pulled-up knees.

"Ugh," Zayn says, and then she lifts a corner and climbs under the sheet with
Liam. Her make-up's missing, which means the stylists will be trying out new
things for that side of the performance, too, and Liam hates just thinking
about it. She dislikes having gunk on her face, and it makes her feel self-
conscious because people who've never glanced her way before start staring like
she's a different person just because her eyes are painted and her lips red.

Zayn smiles. "You know, you put Bella Swan to shame with your angsting."

Liam stares at her in horror. "Do not ever speak that name in my presence. It
always makes me feel like if I were Bella, Edward must be all those creepy fans
who want to sleep with me just because my blood is famous. I mean, special. My
face is famous. Okay, crappy analogy. But my point stands."

Zayn leans over and presses a kiss to her cheek. "You're adorable."

"No, I'm not." Liam wipes the kiss of her cheek. "You're just being nice to me
because I'm dying. Of embarrassment. And because I'm pining away for Louis.
Dying. I'm dead twice over. I'm like Buffy."

Zayn snickers and leans into her, putting her arms around her to give her a
cuddle. "I guess I'd be dying too, if Niall had gotten a front-row seat to
Louis eating out my pussy. Harry is so jealous, she has been trying to
blackmail Louis into taking pictures all day."

Liam's face flames. "Is this supposed to cheer me up? Because it's not helping.
You're a crappy friend, Zayn. Crappy, and unhelpful."

"Aw, come on. It was good, right?" Zayn makes a face. "Not that I want to know
details. But she was - you wanted it, right?"

"No," Liam says, and then, "Yes," when she sees Zayn's thundercloud face. "I
mean. Not with an audience. But yeah. It was fantastic." Then she scowls.
"Which isn't the point."

Zayn grins. "What's the point?"

Liam sighs and buries her face in her hands. "She's just having fun. She
doesn't like me back that way."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is."

"It's not. If she wanted to eat pussy for fun, she'd be doing Harry," Zayn
points out, and Liam wants to throw up at that particular mental picture. She
doesn't want Louis having sex with anyone but her.

Liam doesn't realize she's said that out loud until Zayn says, "Fuck, you're
really into her!" She looks surprised, like that wasn't obvious or anything.

Liam makes a miserable face. "Ergo the dying."

Zayn opens her mouth. There's a knock to the door, so she closes her mouth
again, and then yells, "Yes?"

"It's Niall," Niall calls loudly. "I'm not coming in until someone assures me I
will not be subjected to traumatic views. Like Louis' face in Liam's -"

"You can come in," Zayn calls back, laughing like a maniac. "Can't speak for
Louis, but my face is nowhere near - ouch. Fuck!"

Liam shoves her off the bed too, and curls up again, putting her earphones back
in. Ah, James Blunt next. Charming.


- - - - -


Liam keeps her eyes closed, her fingers cramped around the arm rests of her
seat, while the stylists experiment with her make-up. They're doing 'Kids in
America' on Saturday. Simon had the glorious idea to make it cheerleader
themed, which means three of the five of them will be dancing around on stage
in life-sized doll outfits.

Liam hates that Simon caught her longing look at the trouser-outfit and cut her
down with a harsh but truthful, "Don't even think about it. You'd win the vote
for 'in desperate need of spicing up' unanimously. You're wearing the uniform."

Harry loves her skirt, of course. She picked the shortest one of the bunch and
proclaimed that she was wearing her ladybug-pattern panties underneath and if
there was a hot boy in the front row, he might even get flashed if he was
lucky.

Melanie thumbs at the corner of Liam's eye one more time, fluffs her hair, and
says, "There you go, honey. All done."

Liam doesn't recognize herself when she opens her eyes. Her eyes are huge,
framed in blacks and blues and her lips deep red, like she's bitten into an eel
and it's bleeding all over her mouth.

"Fucking hell, I'd do you," Harry says. When Liam glares at her, she smirks and
licks her lips noisily; Frank flicks his knuckles against her head in repraoch.

"You do look hot," Niall agrees. Apparently, she's no longer brain-damaged by
last night's events, which means it took her all of half a day to get over it.
It's good to know Niall's memory isn't elephantine.

"Thanks," Liam says shortly and raises from her chair. "I'll go dress up then,
shall I?"

"Careful not to get any of your lipstick on the outfit," Melanie calls after
her. Then she turns towards the door and yells, "Zayn, your turn. Get your cute
butt in here!"

Liam closes the door to the changing room behind herself and turns to the
mirror in the corner. She's still wearing what she's most comfortable in, a
thin shirt and loose jeans stuck in her boots. The outfits are carefully hung
up on a clothes rack. She stares at the intricate bodices and fitting skirts
and they're pretty. Not her kind of pretty, but in a way, they're not so bad,
maybe. Maybe they'll let her keep her boots.

She toes them off, then takes off her shirt by pulling it over her head,
careful not to mess up the hair. Her jeans go next, past her sock-clad feet. It
barely takes her two minutes to figure the outfit out, and pull the skirt up
her legs. She's adjusting her top when the door opens after a short knock.

"Dude, Liam," Louis says, and then stops. "Whoa."

Liam feels her ears grow hot. "Eyes," she snaps, and Louis' gaze swivels up to
her face from where it was resting on her thighs.

"That's different," Louis says.

Liam scowls and turns her back to her, leaning against the wall with her
shoulder to climb back into her boots. She wishes suddenly she hadn't promised
Melanie she'd show her the finished look. She must look ridiculous; her breasts
are pushed up in a way that keeps making her look down her own decolleté,
wondering if they'll fall out. The skirt feels too short suddenly.

Then hands slip around her hips and Louis is curled around her back,
surprisingly warm. Her breath makes the short hairs on Liam's neck move. She
smells nice, of coconut and spices. "Still mad at me?" she asks with a little
sigh.

Liam ducks her head and wonders what she's supposed to say to that.

"You do know I'm never letting you walk out of here like this, right?" Louis
talks on, like she hasn't just asked a question. Apparently, Liam not pushing
her away was reply enough.

"Like what?" Liam asks, and hates that her voice turns raspy. She can feel
herself getting wet at the way Louis' thumb moves over the bit of skin laid
bare by the top not quite reaching the skirt's waistline. She wonders if Louis'
dick would be hard, pressing up against Liam like this, if she was a boy. Liam
wonders if it would turn her on just as much if she was.

It doesn't matter, because this is what it is; Louis' jeans zipper is dragging
over the thin material of the skirt when she twitches. "I'm not gonna say,"
Louis says into her ear and kisses her neck when Liam twists her head out of
the way. "You're only going to get mad at me again."

Liam bites her lip to hide a smile. "Call me a hussy again and you'll be
right."

"That was one time, and I was being sarcastic, and those shorts were awfully
short, okay. Even Matt said so. It made Aiden get all teary-eyed and jealous at
you for fifteen whole minutes. I'll never get those fifteen minutes back."

Louis keeps babbling, and by now Liam knows that she only does it when she is
trying to distract Liam from shenanigans. The problem is, Liam is unable to
resist these kinds of shenanigans (even though her brain tells her she's being
incredibly stupid again), because Louis' right hand has been inching its way
down and below Liam's skirt and then up again, traveling the smooth skin of her
thigh, and Liam leans harder against the wall to keep herself upright.

"And on a scale from one to ten," Louis continues, oblivious, "How pissy would
you get if I said the skirt is making me want to finger you until you come all
over your new cheerleader uniform?" All right, maybe not so oblivious.

Liam's knees turn weak. She's very glad that Louis is holding her up as well as
the wall, especially when Louis doesn't wait for an answer there, either, and
pushes aside Liam's panties to touch her where she's moist and ready, trailing
her fingers over delicate skin.

"Louis," Liam says, and it's supposed to be a warning because Louis seems to
have a thing for sex in public spaces, and Liam is not that kind of girl,
except maybe she is, because it comes out pleading instead, and she remembers
how Louis' tongue felt against her last night and wants that again,
desperately, a burning ball of desire in her belly.

"I cannot wait to get you in bed again," Louis murmurs against her skin,
tracing Liam's neck with her lips, and then tongue, swirling patterns over her
pulse point. Liam feels a finger push at her entrance and then move up again
towards her clit, rubbing hard enough to make her choke. "Can't imagine what
you'll look like between my legs, your pink mouth."

Liam bites down on her lip so hard it hurts, and holds back a moan because if
she'd had the time to get herself off between last night and now, that would
have been what she'd have imagined as well, spreading Louis' thighs, getting at
the heat between them to lick her open and eat her out, imagining what she'll
taste like, what it'll feel like to have her twist and jerk against her mouth.

"Do you want to?" Louis asks, and then, finally, pushes two fingers inside
Liam, almost too fast, too soon, except Liam's so wet already, so close, that
it hardly matters.

Liam moves her hips experimentally, rides Louis' fingers, feeling them crook
and twist inside her. Instead of answering, she tilts her head so she can catch
Louis' mouth with her own, kissing her, chaste at first, just little pecks
against her lips. When Louis slides her fingers deeper, the sudden jolt makes
her open her mouth and Louis slips her tongue out, meeting Liam's.

Liam gets her own hand to join Louis', rubs her clit through the material, but
it's not enough, there's not enough space and she needs to come, so she says,
"Louis, let me - Louis," and Louis gets it.

Out of the corner of her eye, Liam catches an expression of utter delight on
Louis' face and it almost makes her want to retract, but the look suits Louis
so well, makes her so beautiful, that she twists out of Louis' embrace, faces
her and leans in to kiss her face again, already smeared with the lipstick,
looking ridiculous and hot at the same time. Louis hooks her thumbs down the
sides of Liam's panties and pushes them down past Liam's thighs, her knees and
lets her step out of them. Liam pretends not to see that she stuffs them into
the back pocket of her jeans.

"This is the filthiest," Louis murmurs and palms Liam's ass, riding up the
skirt, trailing her hand down her thighs, and then up once more, slipping
still-wet fingers between her buttocks, rubbing the tip of a finger over her
hole. "When we have more time, I'll rim you so hard."

Liam has no idea what to say to that, so she pretends like the words didn't
just burn a white-hot bolt of lightning through her body. "Can you," she says
instead, and pulls Louis closer again, kissing her deeply.

"Can I what?" Louis asks, and she's teasing, but Liam really cannot take much
more teasing at this point, so she just grasps Louis' fingers and puts them up
her skirt again, pressing the heel of her hand against her clit, moaning into
Louis' neck.

"Oh, that," Louis says, and laughs a little, and Liam wants to hit her, or ride
her hand some more.

"I love how into it you get," Louis keeps talking, and that's another thing,
how she never shuts up. "How much you love this. How it makes you not give a
fuck what people would think if they could see you like this, like I could push
up against that wall and spread you open and someone coming in wouldn't matter
because -"

"Jesus," Liam groans, "I'm trying to get off here."

Louis laughs. It's a gorgeous laugh, throwing her head back, but her fingers
never stop moving, and she says, "My point exactly."

Then she stops fucking around, pushes Liam against the exact wall she was
talking about before, gets down on her knees and pushes her face between Liam's
thighs, and licks up and into her. Liam braces her legs and thumps her fist
against the wall and comes hard when Louis sucks her clit into her mouth, and
sucks and sucks and tongues it as Liam rides out her orgasm.

When she's done, Louis heaves herself up to stand, rubs the heel of her hand
against the zipper of her jeans and makes a sheepish face. "I think I came in
my panties a little just from that. Fuck."

Liam just breathes. Until Louis leans in and kisses her, and then she moans
because Louis' mouth is still sticky, and it tastes strange, especially knowing
she's tasting herself.

"This is so hot," Louis mumbles, and kisses her deeper, pressing a thigh
between her legs and up.

Liam pushes at her shoulder then because she can't come again, too sensitive
and raw. And also, she still hasn't made Louis come at all, which is horrible
of her. "Do you want me to...?" she asks against Louis' mouth, trailing her
hand to the front of Louis' trousers.

"God yes," Louis laughs. "But not now. I think Harry's ear might glue to the
door if we stay in here any longer."

Liam turns crimson. "You didn't tell them, did you?"

Louis pulls away, heat vanishing and looks at Liam strangely. "Liam," she then
says carefully. "You do know everyone's aware we're together, right?"

"Yes," Liam says, afterglow receding, and then, "No!" Because. "I mean. Of
course after last night, they all know we're screwing around, but -"

"Screwing around?" Louis' face looks stricken suddenly.

"Having sex. Whatever you want to call it." Liam shuts her mouth when Louis'
mouth thins and her eyes go cool.

Louis pulls away. "Is that what this is to you? Getting off, taking off, thank
you madam, and let's make sure no one catches on? Is that what you were sulking
about? That everyone figured out we're - what? Fuck-buddies?"

"I'm in love with you," Liam blurts, because the look on Louis' face is
horrible and she never wants to see it again. She doesn't want to be the cause
of it, ever, and especially now, and gosh, how are they so ridiculous together?

Louis' shoulders drop at the words, though, which is good (Liam thinks). The
tension that made her feel like a coiled spring releases and she breathes out,
stepping closer to Liam again. Her hands find Liam's hips and she draws them
together, noses almost touching. Liam takes a breath as well. She doesn't know
if her heart's still beating or not because she cannot feel anything but the
heat of Louis' hands, her face.

"Liam," Louis says slowly. "Why are you such a moron?"

Liam narrows her eyes.

"I love you too, you complete and utter tosser."

"Oh," Liam says.

"Yeah, oh. How could you not know. Everyone knows. The lady who sells One
Direction forks on a space cruiser fifty years from now knows. How can you not
know?"

Liam feels dumb, but only for a second before she realizes that this is not the
point. "So we're girlfriends?" she asks instead.

"Ah, yeah?" Louis says. "Duh."

"For how long?"

"Two months? Give or take. Might be one month, eight days, four hours.
Basically since that one time you hit me with one of your miniature train
replicas and my skull broke it and I had to distract you by kissing you so you
wouldn't kill me?"

"Oh," Liam says and blinks.

Louis makes a sad face. "I like you better when you're smart. Or making those
noises, those little hiccups just before you come -"

There's a pounding against the door. "If you don't stop fucking right now, I'll
be coming in anyway," Harry shouts at them. "And I'm bringin my camera."

"You can come in," Louis calls back, "It's safe." Because her definition of
safe is apparently all genitalia covered. Never mind the panties in her back
pocket and Liam not wearing any underwear and sticky, lipstick-smeared, swollen
lips and pushing Liam against the wall to kiss her some more.

"Ugh, guys," Niall complains.

Harry grins. "It reeks of sex in here. Lovely work, Louis. Let me make a video.
Secret video diary, for our fans."

"If your finger goes anywhere near that button, I will break all your fingers
and your camera," Liam tells her in her most convincing I-am-not-joking-about-
this voice.

"Aw," Harry says.

"Anyway, we'll be going to have more sex," Louis says, and grins broadly.
"Because my girlfriend is not wearing any underwear right now, and since I
doubt that will happen again anytime soon, we need to celebrate this."

"Louis!" Liam yelps, but lets Louis lead her out of the changing rooms by her
wrist.

"Fucking finally," Zayn mutters from the make-up chair, once they've left. "I
thought they'd never work it out."

"We'll never be safe going into our room now, always at risk of being
confronted with traumatizing images," Niall replies, burying her face in her
hands.

Harry holds up her camera and looks at it with a fond expression. "I think I
can figure out a way to teach them the meaning of discretion."



- - End - -
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